Chapter 14 "The comforter can, and will, abide with me forever."

In John 14 Jesus is trying to teach his disciples He would not always personally be with them, but His “spirit” can be.... John 14:16 “And I will pray (to) the Father, and He shall give you another Comforter, that He may abide with you forever; 

17: Even the Spirit of truth; whom the world cannot receive, because it sees him not, neither knows him: but ye know him; for he dwells with you, and shall be in you.

18: I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you.” 

 25: ...These things have I spoken unto you, being yet present with you (while I’m still here) 

26: But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name (after I’m gone), He shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you. 

 27: Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.

I open with this scripture because it encapsulates what this past weekend was like for us, and every other moment we are called upon to talk in an official capacity without preparation! 

 We were asked to speak with Elder Jaggi, a General Authority, in the Springfield Stake after our Zone Conference there. We stayed two extra days to do so, but since the Saturday session was in the late afternoon, I hopped at the chance to teach with 2 of our sister missionaries earlier in the day which happened to be at the same building where the Stk. conf was being held. While I was in with the girls, Rick found a classroom to use for his office until he was discovered by the Stake President who invited us both to come in and meet with their whole council and Elder Jaggi. I couldn’t stay after our brief introduction because I was in the teaching appointment, but Rick did and was invited to sit on the stand for the leadership session (which we hadn’t previously even been invited to.) 

 Once we finished our teaching appointment and I had taken our investigating friend home, I slipped in the back of the chapel just in time to watch Elder Jaggi lean over and whisper something to Rick during the last verse of the intermediate hymn. Even from the back, I could see all the color flow from his face and he was white as a sheet! Moments later he was standing and leading a 20-minute-long discussion on “The work of salvation on both sides of the veil and how to conduct MCM meetings”. 

 My heart was pounding for him as I know this is the definition of his worst night mare to be called upon with no preparation BUT, he did beautifully, even seamlessly! Now it stands to reason that with even a 5-minute heads-up, he could have drummed up some quotes, looked up some scriptures, thought of some powerful thought-provoking questions to augment and support the discussion, but there was no time for that, so instead, he taught from his experience and his heart, relying wholly upon the spirit who somehow brought questions and scriptures to mind which he had previously studied. Occasionally, Elder Yaggi would lean forward and whisper an instruction to help him like “Ask them to come up” when teaching who should participate in an MCM, or tell more about that...”

 Shortly after, Elder Jaggi spotted me in the back of the room and had me come up and join Rick at the pulpit and eventually had me share a personal experience that supported a new group discussion he had just initiated. 

The following session, he does it again; Turns around in the middle of the intermediate hymn and asks us to come up together and offer our testimonies. (Though I seldom mind that because I love speaking about my Savior.) Later that evening as we were leaving, he asks us to take the talks we had both prepared for the next morning and plan to stand at the pulpit together and give them. As we drove away, I said, “That was the only thing I ‘comfortably’ had left! Which one of our talks are we going to give- Yours or mine?” 

 So rather than breathe a sigh of relief that night and feel prepared, we sat in our hotel room and tried to figure out how to volley back and forth and teach something coherent together and then I laid awake fitfully worrying about what new curveball could be tossed our way. Somehow, it worked beautifully and felt natural and comfortable- like Cinderella’s slipper fitting on her foot. 

 As I think back about this experience now, I wonder if Elder Jaggi (and frankly every other visiting authority,) is trying to teach us to forget ourselves and trust the spirit. It seems every single time, we’ve been forced terribly far outside our circle of comfort, only to learn we can survive it. If that’s a deliberate attempt, I don’t know, but it’s horribly uncomfortable...

Like I imagine it would be if you run across a train track, get your foot stuck, see a train barreling toward you, brace yourself for impact and then uncover your face to discover the train is suddenly on the other side of you and you’re safely watching the caboose disappear around the corner out of sight. You kind of stand there breathless and limp, like “What just happened?” And yet-THAT’S the Holy Spirit and His ability to “teach you all things and bring all things to your remembrance.” It’s certainly not us! But apparently, it’s very important we become ever more comfortable with that kind of reliance!  

We have 2 more conferences to speak in this coming weekend (1 with a visiting authority) It’s hard to imagine we’ll ever be comfortable doing this! Let’s just say... In time I’m hopeful we will.

We’ve learned to recognize and act upon promptings in our personal life forever, particularly in the last decade, but this time it’s on display for all to see when, and if, there’s failure. It’s the most intimidating, difficult thing I’ve ever done! I feel like I bring this up nearly every week, but it’s sooo much a part of my fear. A fear, I am determined to overcome with faith! Because we’ve been promised... “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. 

 I know the Comforter can and will abide with me forever.

Chapter 13 “His Grace is sufficient”

We’ve just checked into our Hotel here in Springfield MO for the next 3 nights. (we’ve already been on the road for 2) I may not have time to finish this letter, but perhaps I can start it. 

 It’s been another whirlwind week of zone conferences and tomorrow will be our last one this round (the 10th in 3 weeks) I know our parents worry that we’ll wear out, but honestly being with the missionaries is like plugging into an outlet! Between listening to General Conference last weekend and meeting with them, we are fully “charged.” 

 It’s a miracle really. Not unlike the kind that sustains a 97-year-old prophet to bop around like a 30-year-old; He and all the other “old men” who over-see a church of over 16.5 million people. One of the apostles’ great granddaughters is a missionary of ours and she says they all work 9 -10-hour days and keep ticking with full energy, stamina and mental faculty! I know that happens through “Grace” which is something I’ve been studying lately…

Grace is defined as “an enabling power from God to do things we cannot do on our own…” (bible dictionary) There are many ways the Lord enables us… 

 -ability to progress when the way before us is blocked- 

-feel peace amidst turbulence, 

 -to have joy when surrounded by sorrow. -to find strength despite our trials! 

-not to mention when my own capacity to forgive, or find impossible solutions, or love others who are difficult to love, or see beyond the pain of the moment- is terribly inadequate, I can ask for His grace, His love, His ability- and He will fill the empty spaces I am incapable of filling, enlarge my capacity and give me His eternal perspective. 

 I’ve long believed that in my own life, the greater miracle, by far, than being healed, was to have had the strength and peace during the years before I was made whole! It took a long while for me to learn to recognize it, but it was so obvious as the challenges increased that we were not alone through any of it! 

 The same was true for the people of Alma who were in bondage to the Lamanites and had heavy burdens to bear. They were weighed down and begging God to remove them from their trials (as we all do) While, in time, he does help them escape, He first gives them what I consider to be a greater miracle; the ability to “bear up their burdens with ease.” 

 President Nelson taught us, “Joy is not found in the circumstances of our lives, but in the focus of our lives.” I couldn’t agree more! 

 When I re-read the entire chapter of 2N 25 it puts verse 23 in a different context…“My grace is sufficient, after all we can do”… (2N 25:23) We all know that we do not earn our way to heaven or into the heart of God- That happens through Grace, but what I am discovering is that my “all I can do” is to “Believe in Christ.” The rest of the chapter repeats at least 6 times in those words and another dozen in similar wording. I know that no matter how talented, or accomplished or polished or learned or practiced or charismatic, we will We ALL “ fall short of the Glory of God…” (Romans 3:23) But through His divine Grace (made possible through Christ’s Atonement) we can return to Him. 

 And that’s o.k! That’s by design! We get to choose to Him, to Believe in Him and rely on Him! “…Ye have not come thus far save it were by the word of Christ with unshaken faith in Him, relying wholly on the merits of Him who is mighty to save.” (2N 31:19) 

Combined with the understanding we have of the Atonement of Christ, it’s really powerful! “Restoring what you cannot restore, healing the world you cannot heal, fixing that which you broke and cannot fix is the very purpose of the Atonement of Christ…” (Elder Packer) 

Many people (including some of our missionaries) take “Perfectionism” or the invitation to become perfect a little too literally. I don’t have to explain what the world means by perfect. But the Greek translation of the word “perfect” means “complete” or “finished”. So the invitation to “be ye therefore perfect” means to be complete and if we understand that only happens through Christ, we know our “all we can do” is to Believe he’s capable of finishing us! Completing us! 

I love the scripture in (2 Corr 12:7-9) “My grace is sufficient for thee; for my strength is made perfect (or complete) in weakness.” 

“I am nothing- as to my own strength I am weak.” (Alma 26:12) And THAT’S OK. 

Each of these 9 Zone Conferences so far has beautifully illustrated this principal in the lives of our missionaries. I marvel at their growth and increased capacity! It’s like watching one of those national geographic videos of a seed sprouting into a tree in time lapse photography. There were some we met when we arrived that were unsure and timid, others who struggled to hold personal study or do companionship study, still more who weren’t sure why they were here or didn’t yet love the work or the people, and still others whose own testimonies needed a major boost! But they put forth effort, they pray for love, they “experiment” on the word, learn to rely on their Savior, study and work and exercise faith and they change before our very eyes! I love it!  

They’re trusting, even reverencing, the incredible example in Rick! I know he’s far less theatrical than the last president, but they see in Him what I’ve always seen and that is that Quiet waters run deep! They’ve really come to love & respect Him as evidenced in their letters & interviews.

It’s the first full Zone conference we’ve been able really plan and execute ourselves since we arrived and it’s been phenomenal! They teach, inspire, strengthen and lift each other and us! I’m amazed at their depth and capacity. In many ways I look up to them. I know how green I feel, but they are so young and yet so wise! There’s no place I’d rather be while we’re here than with them! We couldn’t feel more blessed! Growth is real, change is possible! God is real and His Grace is sufficient!