Well, it's been 6 weeks and I can finally find my way to two churches, a couple of grocery stores and a gas station without Seri! I know Fort Smith, where we were the last two days, is down and that Springfield Missouri, where we were 3 days ago, is up! So there's been some progress! I still don't know which way is N, S, E or W unless its sunrise or sunset, but so far have avoided chiggers, poison ivy and ticks! I also know that a name badge and a glow are all it takes to get an investigator and that not giving hugs to Elders is more difficult than I anticipated. The sisters are 100% correct when they said I wouldn't never have survived covid when you couldn't hug anyone!
Aside from the typical, the last two weeks have been a whirlwind starting with 2 1/2 days with our Area Specialist (Lee Donaldson) sent to assist us with, and train us in, all the changes we've needed to implement. Followed by 3 full days of training for our missionaries in varies areas of the mission, losing 17 missionaries (some to their original countries, but leaving on 7 different days) as well as those who must travel to the US consulate office for personal visas, and then 4 more days spent touring the mission doing Zone Conferences, MLC and speaking in Stake conf. with Elder & Sis Aidukaitis (a 17 year General Authority and a newly called Elder and Sis Meredith.
Of these last 4 days, I struggle to find the words to describe our experience... The first 5 weeks was like drinking from a firehose of stress and miracles. But these past days have been like drinking from a firehose of pure Spirit! It has lifted our vision, heightened our understanding of Gospel principals, elevated our purpose and created a desperately deep appreciation for God's mercy and Atoning love!
Quite honestly, most of the time, Rick and I feel like complete imposters because of all we don't yet know. It's astonishing we'd be allowed do this at all. If feels something like the day we were released from the hospital with our first baby. There should have been a law against it! They check out the car seat, have you fill out a few forms, choose a name, give you a few pointers and send you on your way with that innocent child's life now in your hands...How irresponsible of them! And now we have 245 lives in our hands! I shudder at the gravity of our responsibility! Have you ever felt this way? Honestly, the more we learn, the more we realize we don't know, We're not just children in all of this, we're preemies! What was God thinking when He gave us this job!
I guess He was thinking- let's make them grow and stretch and learn they can do impossible things with my help because we have! Through His spirit, we have been so kindly reminded, in touching and personal ways, that the Lord cares more about the condition of our hearts than what we know or don't know. And "Heart" is what we have an abundance of, so I suppose the learning will come... Eventually we will grow into better and more effective teachers, more attuned, and more confident. Even though we came later to this game and feel very much behind, I love that this Gospel is about eternal progression!
The learning and growing, indeed the "Becoming" like the Savior is our only real purpose. If we simply "go" on a mission or go through life and don't "become more like the Savior" in the process, we've missed the point!
The Meredith's are 10 years our junior and yet because of their early experience, their depth of gospel knowledge and teaching ability is humbling! After 12 hours a day for 3 days- Luisa and Jennifer are now dear, dear friends! Truly! In every possible way, we look up to all of them. Their consecrated lives over decades of sacrifice have trained them in ways I couldn't even imagine, and yet we are all where we're supposed to be; doing what we were sent to do with our own particular life experiences and strengths. I have to trust that! I just have to! Otherwise, I'm in complete overwhelm! I know the Lord qualifies those He calls. and as President Monson promised, "When were on on the Lord's errand, we are entitled to the Lord's help."
Perhaps I'm being too honest, but I'm not going to pretend we have this all together or that we are in any way comfortable- not in the least bit, but our faith, willingness, and desire are huge! We've always been given what we've needed in the past when we needed it, so I expect it will continue that way. It's part of the miracle of discipleship and we couldn't be partnering with a more capable tutor than the Lord!
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